By MJ Doyle
Imagine if writers automatically gave up after making one mistake, after receiving their first rejection, or even after having a full-on failure on their resume. Think about how many great novels, poems, short stories, and of course blogs, we would have missed out on.
All that classic literature that we have read, enjoyed, and grown up with came to us not as a first draft but as a symbol of the writer’s ability to see failure as a window to success.
Consider the following photograph:
I strongly disagree with what this picture symbolizes. Failure and success are not two different destinations in life. First of all, there are no real destinations in life as we are all constantly evolving on many levels. Secondly, it is only through rejection and failure that new doors of opportunities are opened to us.
There are 3 types of mistakes that I’d like to address:
- when we write something that doesn’t fit into our original outline, mold, or idea
- when we are being told by outside forces (i.e. an editor), or even by ourselves, that our writing is not “acceptable” as is (i.e. a rejection letter)
- when everything in our life seems to be going wrong and we just plain feel like a failure
Let’s start with the first one. Have you ever been writing, just letting your mind go wherever it desires, and come up with something completely unexpected? Something your internal editor may have flagged as a mistake had you not been allowing yourself to write freely?
As writers we have a tendency to over-think, overanalyze, and over-edit. Relax. Pay attention to the “mistakes” you make while writing and see if they are in fact new opportunities to expand, or perhaps even completely change, your original idea. Don’t be too quick with the delete button. Remember: We don’t write to get things right, we write to get things started, or progressing, to see where our minds take us. As uncomfortable as it may feel, let your gut be your guide.
The second type of mistake we writers often encounter is what we would consider a failure, or rejection. That is, either we don’t like what we’ve written, or someone to whom we are accountable doesn’t like it, or both (they are kind of one in the same, aren’t they?). In either case, the work seems to be dead in the water.
This is where opportunity knocks. This is how we strengthen our writing muscles. Without these failures and rejections, our writing would remain weak and drab. Imagine a body builder training for a competition and giving up after she realizes the weight is too heavy. She just can’t lift it. But what does she do? She lifts it as far as she can and then tries again. She keeps building the muscle until she can lift that weight.
And that’s what happens with writing. When you fail, it is a sign that something needs to be strengthened. Find out what it is and don’t give up. Failing builds muscle, because it enables us to become better at what we do.
Lastly, there may be failures or mistakes that you are facing in life right now. How can these possibly help your writing? Well, if everything in your life were footloose and fancy free, what would there be to write about? No one wants to read about an ordinary person who is sailing through life unscathed.
We write from within ourselves. This applies to fiction and non-fiction, including blogging. If our lives were problem free, our proverbial pages would be blank. We’d have absolutely no material, no personal experiences from which to draw.
The best way to translate your personal failures into writing is to journal. Then, when it comes time to write something, you have some meaty material. Use the crappy things that happen to you as fodder for some amazing writing.
Now, close your eyes, and imagine yourself licking the stamp that will send your first (or next) query letter or proposal off to an editor. How will you react to the rejection that you will most likely face?
The next time you’re writing and something completely wrong flies onto the page, will you delete it right away, or will you consider that your mind is trying to tell you something?
And when your life feels like nothing is going right, will you retreat to the T.V. or fridge to dull the pain, or will you simply sit down and write?
About the Author: MJ Doyle is the author of “Beat Your Procrastination by Releasing Your Clutter.” Her blog, S.O.S. Your Life, teaches others how to organize their way to personal development.
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Well, my problem in writing is that I keep meeting up with such promises. At writers conferences, I’m consistently the center of attention. Then I get passed on to an agent, publisher, etc. with the highest of recommendations. My hopes get very high. Then bang! Nothing results of it.
It happens over and over again, year after year. My work always resonates with important people in the field. I can’t stand this pattern of my hope getting so high — then bang, nothing — anymore. I can’t take it.
It would be better if I didn’t get attention in the first place. Then my hopes wouldn’t get so high, and fall to rock bottom wouldn’t be so great. If I never had the possibility that I would have made it , I wouldn’t face such deep disappointment so many times.
Hi Gloria,
As writers we need to see this “attention” as normal. We are putting our work out there and others are going to like it and hopefully tell us so. Instead of getting your hopes up thinking this is your big break, see these recommendations for what they are–compliments. Many promises are broken in the writing industry, unfortunately. That’s par for the course.
It sounds like you have a lot of talent but have yet to meet that one agent, editor, or publisher that gets as excited about your work as you are. Someone who won’t be able to sleep until your work is in print.
As a writer myself, waiting for this type of situation isn’t my style. I like to think that I’ve taken the bull by the horns by controlling my own destiny. I don’t want to waste my life waiting–I want to live my life to the fullest each day. This means writing in other capacities that I can control. For me, it’s writing on the internet. I love it and new doors are opened to me every day.
Sorry this is so long, but your plight hit a chord with me. Yes, you love to write but there are many other forms of writing than the typical publishing route. Try a different venue, while you continue to submit your work to publishers. The important thing is to feel successful now, not only when you get picked up by an agent. Now is your time.
I hope this helps!
-MJ
You said that you write for the Internet. I’ve tried blogging, creating a website, but I don’t know how to get people to connect to it. If I write to organizations to see if I can make connections, they don’t respond. What do you do?
Does this mean putting in ideas here and there over the Internet?
Hi, good post. I have been wondering about this issue,so thanks for posting. I’ll definitely be coming back to your site.
I am currently writing a program to mentor work-at-home moms in time management. It involves a lot of writing about topics I enjoy such as organization (around which my main blog is centered).
If you want, visit my blog and drop me a line via my contact form. We can talk over email and come up with some ideas for you.
I have a real problem. I am interested in many things and can write about many things, but I’m a real geek, because I have interests that many people think are strange and cannot accept. I can’t help being like the way I am. For instance, prior to being a mom — or to put it bluntly, before I was even two years old, I was interested in getting very young children to read. In fact, it made it worse when nobody would agree to teach me to read when I was a toddler. My desire to read was extremely intense. So once I became a mom, I remembered how badly I wanted to read when I was really little. So I began to teach my little girl when she was a year old. I was surprised that nobody was interested and was very critical of me. Nor could they remember back at that age. They thought I was wierd. But because I could remember back at that age, I knew just what to do. By the time my little girl was three, she was reading fluently and could pick any book up and read it.
Now, anyone could say, “Wow, what a genious!” about her. But I had learned several skills from this experience, so I applied them to other children who later came to me, with the same results.
Now, nobody believes me. They think I’m wierd. Nor is anyone interested. Although I was a mom like other moms, I wasn’t like the other moms and hid this secret about my kids. It became pretty easy for me to teach a new child to read, but it made me a freak. And it also was something that nobody ever believed. And it was something I could never write about, because people often got extremely upset about it.
Although I was not a child specialist who had oodles of background on child development, I had my own data that nobody had any interests in.
Sorry, I didn’t click the window about the emailing me, so I’m pasting this same message in and checking the box. I’ll allow you to delete the duplicate parts.
I have a real problem. I am interested in many things and can write about many things, but I’m a real geek, because I have interests that many people think are strange and cannot accept. I can’t help being like the way I am. For instance, prior to being a mom — or to put it bluntly, before I was even two years old, I was interested in getting very young children to read. In fact, it made it worse when nobody would agree to teach me to read when I was a toddler. My desire to read was extremely intense. So once I became a mom, I remembered how badly I wanted to read when I was really little. So I began to teach my little girl when she was a year old. I was surprised that nobody was interested and was very critical of me. Nor could they remember back at that age. They thought I was wierd. But because I could remember back at that age, I knew just what to do. By the time my little girl was three, she was reading fluently and could pick any book up and read it.
Now, anyone could say, “Wow, what a genious!” about her. But I had learned several skills from this experience, so I applied them to other children who later came to me, with the same results.
Now, nobody believes me. They think I’m wierd. Nor is anyone interested. Although I was a mom like other moms, I wasn’t like the other moms and hid this secret about my kids. It became pretty easy for me to teach a new child to read, but it made me a freak. And it also was something that nobody ever believed. And it was something I could never write about, because people often got extremely upset about it.
Although I was not a child specialist who had oodles of background on child development, I had my own data that nobody had any interests in.
So I guess I can’t write about anything anybody is interested in. I’ve won writing contests, though, so maybe there’s hope.
Oodles of moms would be interested in getting their children to read at an early age. If this is a skill you can write about and teach other moms, then you’ve got something very special there.
I still think you should e-mail me and I can give you some suggestions about pursuing this.