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Your Writing Limitations Are Self-Imposed

by The Procrastinating Writer on May 28, 2009

“The only limitations we encounter in life are those
self-limiting ones we place on ourselves,”–Anonymous

By Jennifer Blanchard

Have you ever wanted to enter a fiction contest? Learn how to write a screenplay? Write a novel?

What stops you?

Do you think you can’t do it? Do you “know” you can’t do it? Do you think you need to know more about the subject first? Do you believe that you have to be an expert in order to write?

Whatever it is that holds you back, know this: Your limitations are self-imposed.

That means, whatever you tell yourself is what your limits are.

For example, if you keep telling yourself you can’t do it because it’s “too hard to write a novel,” then you will never be able to write a novel because in your mind it will always be “too difficult.”

But if you start to realize and accept that your limitations are self-imposed, you can then begin to overcome the barriers that keep you from writing (and chasing your dreams).

Look at it this way, if your best friend came to you and said, “I’m going to write a novel!” would you encourage her? Would you support her and be the voice of reason for herĀ if she started to doubt herself?

Or would you start to impose limitations on her and tell her she needs XYZ before she can write a novel? Would you talk her out of it before she even attempts? Would you tell her that her dream is impossible?

Of course you wouldn’t! You’d be supportive and most likely her biggest cheerleader.

So why can’t you do that for yourself?

You need to start thinking of yourself as your own best friend. And you wouldn’t set limitations on what your best friend can achieve. You wouldn’t talk badly about your best friend. You wouldn’t make your best friend feel like her dreams are worthless.

So stop making yourself feel that way!

You are a smart, talented writer…and the limitations you supposedly have are only limitations because you say they are.

But once you let go of any self-imposed limitations you have put on yourself, something amazing will happen: You will finally see that you can have anything; you can be anything; you can do anything.

Action Steps

  • Become your own best friend–When you become your own best friend, you realize that the way you’ve been treating yourself all these years (placing limitations on yourself; saying you can’t do things; talking yourself out of your dreams) is absurd. If you wouldn’t treat a friend or family member like that, why would you treat yourself like that?
  • Start to consider why you’ve imposed these limitations on yourself–Is it because you’re afraid? Is it because you think people will reject you? 

    Figuring out why you’ve imposed limitations on yourself is the first step to removing them.

  • Change your self-talk–This step is extremely important! If you’re ever going to truly remove the limitations you’ve imposed on yourself, you need to change the way you talk to and think about yourself. 

    I’ve mentioned this before, but one very helpful way to start changing your self-talk is to come up with a writing affirmation. Something simple like, “I am a brilliant writer,” or “My writing is amazing,” will get you started on the path to self-acceptance and self-encouragement.

  • Begin accepting yourself for who you are and who you’re not–So you’ll never be Stephen King or Joyce Carol Oates or Flannery O’Connor…so what?! You get to be you instead, which is the best thing you can possibly be. 

    You are unique and bring a different perspective to the world, so why would you ever want to be anyone but who you are?

    Sure, self-acceptance takes time. It’s not something you’re going to have overnight. But when you stop telling yourself you can’t do it, and start telling yourself you can do anything, you will finally lift the barriers that hold you back from doing what you love–writing.

{ 6 comments… read them below or add one }

1 Donald E. W. Quist May 28, 2009 at 12:50 pm

This blog post is on the money. Changing your self-talk is so important. I really struggled with that but by thinking and speaking more positively my environment really changed for the better.

“You are unique and bring a different perspective to the world, so why would you ever want to be anyone but who you are?” – I think this is something a lot of aspiring writers struggle with. We spend so much time focusing on how much BETTER other writers are, or we try to mimic the style of our favorite authors when we should be nursing our own voice.

Excellent post Jen!

2 Diane Easley May 28, 2009 at 4:33 pm

Why is it that something so simple and obvious has so much power? Of course, I would love it if my friends wanted to write, but me? A million reasons why not to finish. Love the idea of being your own best friend. What a great one. You rock!

3 The Procrastinating Writer May 28, 2009 at 4:41 pm

@DonaldEWQuist I’m glad to hear thinking and speaking more positively is working for you!

@Diane Easley True story: Last Saturday, I was getting ready to attend my friend’s wedding. I had the most beautiful dress and shoes picked out. I was going to knock ‘em dead. But then when I got all dressed up, I start talking badly about myself. “Your hair looks flat.” “Your makeup is gross.” And then I thought to myself, if I was standing here looking into my best friend’s face, rather than into my own reflection, would I be telling her she had flat hair and gross makeup? No way! I’d be telling her she looked beautiful and I was so happy to see her.

So why couldn’t I do the same thing for myself?

I think we need to become our own best friends. And if you think about it, no matter where life takes you, you are the only person who will always be with you, start to finish.

That’s why I think we need to start being our own best friends and treat ourselves with the same respect we’d give our best friend. No more name calling. No more put downs. No more limitations.

4 My Amazing Weight Loss Story May 28, 2009 at 6:37 pm

Thanks for writing, I really liked your newest post. I think you should post more frequently, you obviously have talent for blogging!

5 Ken June 2, 2009 at 9:25 am

Thanks so much, the idea of being your own best friend is spot on, because it diffuses any other negativity that might surface. BTW, I can completely relate to your story about being in front of the mirror & not liking what I see. Thanks to you, I’m going to pay closer attention to my own self-talk.

6 The Procrastinating Writer June 2, 2009 at 9:33 am

@Ken You’re welcome! Paying closer attention to your self-talk will definitely help you in both aspects you mentioned–your self-set limitations and liking what you see in the mirror. :-)

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