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Ignore The Naysayers and the Haters

by Jennifer on February 17, 2010

By Jennifer Blanchard

You’ve probably heard of naysayers and haters. They’re the people who talk negatively to you and tell you that your writing dreams won’t ever happen.

Or they’re the people who criticize the work you do and make you feel bad about your skills.

Or they’re the people who say things like, “The world is a cruel, unfair place,” and, “Life is hard. Dreams don’t come true.”

Regardless of who these people are in your life or what they say to you, you have to ignore them.

Ignore the Naysayers and the Haters
It’s important to keep in mind that you can’t please everyone all the time. You can’t do it. (And that’s probably one of the few times you’ll ever see me use the word can’t.)

You can’t do it because there is no pleasing everyone. Some people are here just to make your life miserable. They’re here to point out all your errors and mistakes. It makes them feel better about themselves to do this.

If you’re going to be a professional writer, you must learn now to ignore those who are in opposition to what you want to achieve in your life. Because if you can’t, you’ll always allow those people to set limitations for you or to be your excuse for not reaching your dreams.

Being a writer isn’t easy.

There’s a level of putting yourself out there and opening yourself up to criticism that many other hobbies and professions don’t have.

You have to accept that now if you’re ever going to move forward with your writing dreams.

Yes, constructive criticism is an important tool to becoming a better writer.

But what naysayers and haters have to say is usually not constructive, it’s just critical. Huge difference.

Here are some ways to ignore the negative buzz that floats around you:

  • Just plain ignore it–Refuse to listen to it. Refuse to even consider it.
  • Give yourself a positive response–When someone says something negative or naysays around you, repeat to yourself the opposite of whatever the person said. So if they said, “You’ll never be a fiction writer,” tell yourself, “I’m going to be a fiction writer.”
  • Create a writing affirmation–I know I talk a lot about writing affirmations, but I can’t help it. They’re so useful and awesome! A writing affirmation is a positive statement that you repeat to yourself several times a day. It can be anything from “I’m a brilliant writer” to “This novel is awesome.” Whatever makes you feel confident when you say it.
  • Be confident–If you write, you’re a writer, period. So be confident in that knowledge. You are a writer. You don’t have to make money to be a writer. You don’t have to write for a living. You’re a writer if you write. And your skills—wherever they may be right now—will only get better the more you write.

    It will be much easier to ignore the negativity around you when you believe in yourself as a writer.

How do you ignore the naysayers and the haters in society and your life?

About the Author: Jennifer Blanchard is founder of Procrastinating Writers. Be sure to follow her on Twitter.

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{ 11 comments… read them below or add one }

1 Ann Marie February 17, 2010 at 2:22 pm

Some naysayers, quite frankly, I’ve cut off. First of all, how good a friend are they if they’re downgrading my project? And second, some naysayers are just constant complainers, so it’s a general mood enhancement not just support for my work. Then, with the dearth of social life, I’ve had much more time to write as well. 😉

2 jblan February 17, 2010 at 2:25 pm

@Ann Marie I couldn’t agree with you more! I, too, cut off some of the “toxic” people in my life. It can be such a drain to spend a lot of time around negative people. It’s worth it just for your health and peace-of-mind not to be around them.

3 Crystal February 17, 2010 at 2:29 pm

Great post, and so accurate! I hate naysayers. With all the self-doubt that already ebbs and flows in our lives as writers, the last thing we need is another extraneous layer of doubt eating away at us. Let’s shed those layers, writer-folk, starting with the naysayers!

4 Paulo Campos February 17, 2010 at 4:47 pm

Something that I struggle with are the unintentional naysayers. Readers who don’t connect with something I wrote. My father and a member of my writing group do this from time to time. Both are incredibly supportive, but more often than not are not helpful readers and my battery of questions aren’t leading to answers more specific than a variation of “I don’t get it.”

Sometimes what I feel is important to a character is different from what they were expecting. I generally don’t write “experimental,” bonkers work, so I feel badly that what I wrote didn’t connect with them and take that kind of response as a barometer as to what kind of reader will be receptive to this.

Despite knowing better, this kind of unintentional naysayer is a frustration that makes me feel somewhat insecure about my ability to communicate. I guess it’s a bit similar to a personalized rejection letter. Best to remember you can’t please everyone, pour yourself some wine (or coffee) and get back to work.

Thanks for an encouraging post!
(I chronically forget about affirmations; I’m glad this reminded me).

5 Linda February 17, 2010 at 10:05 pm

Thanks so much for this reminder! I work with a few negative people and tend to shy away from them as much as possible–I call them “energy vampires” because being around them is so emotionally draining.

I’ve noticed that most people who are negative about my being a writer are not readers. If they don’t “get” how enjoyable reading is, why on earth would I expect them to “get” the idea of someone wanting to write a novel?

Many of the vampires have already dropped out of my life because I will not drop what I am doing (writing) at a moment’s notice to spend time with them. I’d be willing to bet the rent though that when I am published, they’ll all come crawling from under floorboards and want to be BFFs again LOL!

6 Rebecca February 18, 2010 at 12:32 am

I love this post. I am still working on this one: There’s a level of putting yourself out there and opening yourself up to criticism that many other hobbies and professions don’t have.

I know it, but I am still struggling to deal with it. I will keep your tips in mind!

7 Susie McCray February 20, 2010 at 8:48 am

I have stop talking to negative people about my writing because all they do is make me not want to write. It’s as if they become the little nagging voice in my head that says, “You’ll never be any good.” Usually, I manager to keep that little bugger at bay, so it’s important for me not to feed into the negativity of the naysayers.

8 leona May 1, 2010 at 4:52 pm

i love this article…..this all for ahters in the world .it really helps…

9 Melody Joy June 25, 2011 at 3:29 am

Thank you so much for writing this! I am a musician, lyricist, and producer. I can tell you are passionate about your work,..likewise. I get upset when people purposfully try and hate on my art… it’s upsettng when it’s something an artist works so hard to put out and gets the typical “internet trolls” trying to downplay everything they have done!

Artists create masterpieces

Haters create negetivity around masterpieces they wish they could create, but didn’t. And if they can throw at least one wrench in the works to try and down grade ones art, it makes them feel better.

10 Jennifer June 25, 2011 at 2:34 pm

@Melody You’re welcome. I am all about positivity and supporting other people. It’s unfortunate that people have to be haters and so negative toward an artist, but they only do it because they’re jealous. They wish they had the balls to create art and put it out there. It’s amazing that you’re putting yourself out there. Congrats–you’re on your way to reaching all your goals!

11 www.brasstitan.com June 7, 2013 at 9:44 am

Hi, just wanted to say, I liked this post. It was inspiring. Keep on posting!

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